7 Things that Got Me Through My Divorce that Didn't Cost a Thing
my lifelines during dark times
#TuesdayTips are back baby!
To my regular readers you may have noticed that my “weekly” newsletter stopped being weekly, opps. I took a longer than anticipated break to have waayyyy too much fun this summer which somehow turned into September, October, November….
and now the holiday season & the end of 2025 is hurling its way towards us.
I am happy to be bringing back this series and starting it off on a more somber note.
Last Friday I hiked 8 miles into Haleakala after signing the last round of paperwork attached to my divorce early that morning. This was my third trip into Haleakala this year and each time brings a new level of healing. On this trip I laughed, I cried, I was quiet, I yelled off the top of the mountain, my heart pumped hard and my legs worked overtime. As I cried, I found myself saying goodbye - goodbye to my house, my marriage, my ex-husband and probably soon my dog.
Since then I have been very nostalgic about my marriage. I spent the weekend reflecting on all the good times, the love we shared, and the qualities in my ex that I still appreciate.
Getting to this space, where I can reflect, without a huge ache in my heart has taken a lot of time and a lot of healing. For a full year I was very quiet processing the grief that comes with ending a 12+ year relationship. When I was in it, I was deep in. During what was some of the most difficult months of my life, I took really good care of myself. Possibly the best care I have ever given myself.
As I was living on a very tight budget and paying expensive rent, the things I did to help me process and heal came without a price tag. Here are 7 things that became a lifeline for me and didn’t cost 1 penny:
Walking - the longer the better. I walked after each mediation call. I walked when I couldn’t sit still. I walked and cried. I walked at sunset. I walked and sweated in the heat of the day. Sometimes I walked so far I had to call and ask a friend to drive me home.
Blasting music - I would listen to music as loud as possible in my car and headphones. Sometimes I would be rocking out, listening to gangster rap and other times crying. If my hearing goes in old age, I will know why (I hope that there will be some AI hearing aid invention by then that will revolutionize hearing loss).
Writing
Stopped drinking alcohol - a great way to save money. I don’t know if I consciously chose to do this more than if I drank, my whole body & world be rocked, not in a good way but in a I can’t handle my life kinda way.
Meditated - I got really quiet with myself and sat with heavy emotions.
Drawing & Coloring - very therapeutic and a good way to spend Friday night when you are anti-social.
Moved my body - I moved my body almost daily whether that was doing yoga, running, dancing, walking, working out to YouTube workout classes (shout out to my favorite trainer Heather Robertson)
I almost want to put walking down again because I love it so much and believe it was one of the greatest help in linking what was processing in my head with my body.
To anyone going through a difficult period, know that you are not alone. If you are white knuckling your way through each day and are looking for support, I am here for you. Book a private call - I’ve got you.
xo
